Home Sweet Home
by classyblue
Summary: A home needs more than wood and nails, it needs love.


A gentle breeze blew through the air, sending the dust stirred up from the horses hooves bellowing in little circles. Hephaestion turned his head into the wind to blow the wayward strands of his long hair off his face. He closed his eyes and let the breeze tickle him on it's way past him, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his skin. It was a beautiful day, spring was just ending and summer creeping in on silent feet.

It had been a successful journey for Hephaestion. He had negotiated several new contracts and made arrangements for supplies the progressing army needed. He had been away from the main army for several months to complete his tasks and his men were eager to reunite with their friends and families.

Hephaestion was not as eager as the others to return home.

_Home..._he wasn't sure what the meaning of that word meant to him anymore.It used to mean just one person, one name, not a place or building. Now he wasn't as sure what the word home meant to him.

Not that many years ago, he would have been pushing his men to get back to the main army, back to Alexander. Driving the men and horses hard, he would have been at the front of the column to get his first look at _his Alexander_. Alexander would be waiting, watching for him, even coming out to meet him before they reached the camp. They would greet each other warmly, holding on longer and hugging tighter. Reports of the success of the journey would be put off till bonds were renewed between them and strengthen again.

It was no longer like that and had not been for some time now. Alexander no longer waited for Hephaestion to return with open arms. He still greeted him and welcomed him home, saying he missed him. But something was missing. Hephaestion knew in his heart that Alexander still loved him and needed him in his life, but they had lost something through the years. Not really knowing when or how it had changed, or even why, Hephaestion could only wish for things that could never be again.

It seemed he had been adjusting his life to mold around Alexander from the time he arrived in Pella. He became what Alexander needed, a friend, a lover, a confident, a protector and second in command of Alexanders army. Many envied him and many hated him. He was set apart and ignored, or teased, depending on the day and whoever was around. He learned to accept all of this and had begun, through the years, to distance himself and protect his relationship with Alexander. Alexander needed him and he would do whatever he was required to help him fulfill his dreams. They had shared those dreams for so many years, planning and scheming to see them through.

Hephaestion knew he was still needed but he also knew that he had no idea what his place was in Alexanders life anymore. The older he got, the more alone he felt himself become. His love for Alexander had not diminished in the least, and he probably loved him more with each passing year. The man was fast becoming a legend and his feats were being compared to the gods. His greatness would be passed on for many generations long after Alexander had left this world, of this, Hephaestion had no doubts.

Wives and other lovers had now taken the special place Hephaestion had once held in Alexanders' life. He no longer sought Hephaestion out to spend time alone with him or made time for the two of them. His need to be with Hephaestion was not on the same level as Hephaestions' needs to be with Alexander. Hephaestion had learned to accept this, if you can ever really learn to let go of something you hold so deeply in your heart and soul.

So the slow ride back _home _was a welcome one for Hephaestion. Returning meant hiding your feelings, becoming the blunt of the jokes and ridicule, being brushed aside from the one who held you heart. It meant pulling deeper into yourself and hiding your true feelings, something Hephaestion was getting to be an expert at.

The days past and with each passing mile the distance to home melted away. Hephaestion got quieter and said less, readying himself for the world ahead of him. A few men noticed and commented to each other that something seemed to be bothering their beloved general, but when asked, Hephaestion only smiled and said he was fine.

A scout rode back to the returning journeymen and reported the army was a half day away, with hard riding they could make it in a couple of hours. Hephaestion saw the eager faces of his men and told them to ride on and he would be there tomorrow, he had a few notes to update before he returned. A few of his men stayed to protect him, knowing that if anything happened to Hephaestion, the King would have their heads.

The day lazily changed to night and darkness enveloped the land around them. Fires burned brightly, sending trials of smoke toward the sky. It was much quieter with the smaller group and meat the men had hunted was slowly cooking over the open flames.

Hephaestion sat outside of his tent and listened to the sounds of the night. He was going to miss this in the coming days and wanted to soak up as much as of the peacefulness as he could. The court of Alexander was always busy and noisy.

His quiet was interrupted by the sound of horses approaching. He and the others grabbed their weapons until the all-clear was given. The riders were part of the army and everyone relaxed again by the fires. Hephaestion sat back down on the log and stirred the fire in front of him with a small stick.

A voice speaking softly, made him raise his head and look up. The night breeze blew his hair back from his face and the fire illuminated on his skin.

"Why didn't you come in with the rest of your men?" Alexander ask softly.

"I had a few tasks to do before I reported to you tomorrow." Hephaestion replied.

The quiet between them roared between the distance they stood apart. Neither spoke for a while and Hephaestion was the first to look away.

"When did we come to this, my beautiful friend, why did we let this happen to us?" Alexander said in a whisper.

"Life got in the way," Hephaestion said quietly back, "priorities changed."

"When did everything else be come more important than us and when did it change?" Alexander questioned again.

Hephaestion could not answer him, keeping his head low and looking into the fire.

Alexander separated the distance between them and putting his hand under Hephaestions' chin, he brought his face up to look at him. Tears were glistening in Hephaestions' eyes and he tried to pull away and hid them from Alexander. Alexander would have none of it though, and put both of his hands on either side of Hephaestions' bearded face.

Hephaestion looked into the face of his King and only saw the tears rolling down his cheeks. He gathered Alexander into his arms and they held on tight for a long time, neither wanting to let go.

Alexander pulled back a few inches and whispered softly into the blue eyes, "The best part of change is that if you don't like the way things have become, you can change them till they are to your liking. I am ready for a change, how about you?"

"And what would that be my King?

"I want the rest of myself back, it seems I have lost half of myself and I can't, nor do I want, to be without him any longer." Alexander said, "Can you forgive a fool with letting you slip away from me? Because you see I have lost my way and I want to come home again. Will you help me?"

Hephaestion sighed deeply and bit on his lower lip to keep the tears held back that threatened to flow.

"The only home I know is you." Hephaestion said.

"Then let us repair the home we started and make it stronger this time to withstand anything the world throws at it to bring it down again." Alexander said with a smile.

"Aye," said Hephaestion, "_Home, my Alexander._"


End file.
